cRaShEdGuiTaR…

Just when I thought I was safe,
You found me in my hiding place,
I’d promised never again
I wouldn’t give my heart, but then
Closer, closer I moved near you
The way I want you makes me fear you

Love breaks and love divides
Love laughs and love can make you cry
I can’t believe the ways
That love can give
And love can take away

I find it hard to explain
It’s crazy, but it’s happening
And I’m falling again
Much further than I’ve ever been
I’m falling deeper than the ocean
I am lost in this emotion

I have fractured ribs ergo, I can’t drink alcohol, I can’t go out too much nor I can laugh loud or cry. I’m currently miserable and down. I just came home from LA. Spacing out while driving… a little cry on the way. Pero masakit sa ribs e. I’m tired… Emotionally and physically… Putangina lang kasi talaga ang mundo minsan e.

I went out with my college friends last night to watch game 6 and celtics won! woohoo! ANYWAY! When Mayne and I were in the car, we talked about corny stuff. I admitted to her that I’m a hopeless romantic and I still believe in fairytale-like love stories. And she just answered me that everybody wants someone who would sweep them off their feet but in reality it’s hard to find, and in our age, career muna.

People may say I’m so corny or baduy but it works for me e. It makes my life more exciting. I’m the type who analyzes the lyrics of the song I’m listening to and then kikiligin pag super sweet or romantic nya. I like a date at the beach, just walking in the sand, watching the sunset, talking, holding hands and admiring the beauty of the ocean. I like cheezy films (chic flicks), kahit super babaw basta nakakakilig. hehe. I’m the type who’s into kissing in the rain, dancing in the streets, just hugging all night, doing babaw stuff together, star gazing, and all those romantic stuff. Saya diba? hehehe.

Ika nga ni xyrywn –>>bakit daw tuwing may nakikita akong place, lagi ko daw iniisip e romantic. Ndi ko daw maisip na nice lang sha. Pag may hinahanap daw akong place, lagi nasa utak ko e kung san ko dadalhin ang magiging bf ko etc. hahahaha.

Pero napaisip ako sa sinabi ni mayne. Will I ever find my ideal guy? Or accept the reality na most guys nowadays are jerks? haha. I’m not expecting too much na. I’ve learned. But I’m still a hopeless romantic =)

There’s a saying that:

"There’s a B side to every story" or "there’s always two sides to every story"

I find this true… and disappointing Especially if you’re dealing with people who have a lot of egocentrism whithin them. It hurts to know that the people you trust and care about are the one’s who modify or discuss personal stuff so that they have something COOL to say to other people… To boost their ego so to speak without even considering the feelings of the other person. Think before you speak man! Fuck!

I can’t believe that I’ve reached the point where I already disregarded everything that I’m feeling emotionally to become an insensitive bitch.

I’ve never been this way but there’s always a first time for everything. You can’t blame me coz you made me this way. You are the first person who embarrassed me like this.

I’m sad coz everything especially the friendship was almost perfect. I’ve been nice, patient and quiet all this time but you still ended up betraying me. If you have a problem with me, have the fucking balls to say it to my face not to other people. How dare you judge me for one action that I didn’t even regret doing?! I have a brain you know? I think before I act. You’ll end up guilty If only you know every single thing inside my freakin’ mind; BUT! I won’t let you coz the damage has been done.

I expected so much from you, seeing you differently in a good way. I was disappointed big time but this time I’m not gonna explain myself for being this way. 

You can call me a bitch as much as you want. I don’t care!

"When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or

do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart—

It means I live my life MY way. It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone’s maid,

or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am

and won’t become anyone else’s idea of what they think I SHOULD be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.

I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,

and try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You WON’T succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch then so be it.

I embrace the title and am proud to bear it " (—tin—)

Simula dumating ako dito, lumabas lahat ng pimples ko! Shit! Mukha nakong pimple na tinubuan ng mukha! My God! Nakakairita kasi ndi naman ako ganito dati eh. Hassle ampotah! AaAaaRrGh!

Got this from a bulletin in friendster and I strongly agree with all the info. I also added a couple of things. I miss St. Scho…

Here it goes…

Kulasa ka kapag:

-Nakatikim ka ng stone soup

-Nakatikim ka ng German cookies

-Aware ka sa Hiroshima bombing

-Nakapag noise barrage ka

-Kilala mo si Tita Naty

-Alam mo kung na saan ang tunnel oftruth/lies

-Alam mo ang SRA at ang ibat ibang 2xcolors nito

-Bumibili ka sa mga paninda sa labasng gate 6

-Kilala mo si lolo at lola na maytindahan sa labas ng gate 1

-Alam mong may star section at homoclass kahit ideny ng mga teachers

-Favorite mo ang cutlet o braised pork.

-Alam mo na yung ticket ng cutlet yung may kamay na nakaturo na color blue

-na-try mo na ang chicken fillet and pork sa canteen (Sarap kumain ng chicken fillet with cheese after class)

-Lahat ng accessories mo ay blue,black at white.

-Pag nakakakita ka ng music notes nirerecite mo ang ta ta ti ti ta tati ti ti ti ta ta

-Kilala mo si Tita Abigail

-Nagaayos ka ng uniform pag papalapit si Mrs Ferrer o kung sino mang discipline head

-Nagtataka ka bakit hindi umuulit ng damit si Mrs. Pengson.

-Tinry mo gayahin ang signature ni Mrs.Pengson.

-Pag lower batch ka hindi ka dapat tumatambay sa stones

-Excited ka pag may fair or concert kasi may BOYS!

-Nag ecology activity ka.

-Nag afro asian activity ka

-Nag participate ka sa mga plays!

-Nag JOG/JEEP ka.

-Nag SEE ka.

-Nung Senior ka ginamit mo ang POWEROF THE BADGE

-Gumawa ka ng grad song

-Hindi maayos ang uniform mo. Ayaw itali ang ribbon sa harap! hehe -Wala kang ka probleproblema umupo sa floor.

-Tapos pag uupo ka iipunin mo skirt mo sa gitna ng legs mo.

-Mabigat ang bulsa mo. May wallet, suklay, ballpen at cellfone kasi.

-Pag tumatakbo ka nakahawak ka sa bulsa mo.

-Minsan sa buhay mo nilait mo ang mga taga Assumption.

-Alam mo ang o chinggawa o o chingachinggawa

-Pag after perio nasa glorietta ka.

-Pag nagkikita kayo ng friends mo sa ibang place, kung magbatian kayo parang 10 years na kayong hindi nagkikita.

-Maingay ka. Pero elegante pa din

-Sanay ka sa debates (Thanks Sir Roño)

-Gumawa ka ng physics toy. mobile/aircar! (asar to.. pero masaya!)

-Ayaw mo gumamit ng banyo malapit sa physics room may multo kasi dun.

-Alam mo ang Days With The Lord

-Alam mo ang Lets cheer for St. Scholastica, We are here dear ssc,come loyal, St Benedict to thee we turn.

-Alam mo kung ano ang SCHOLARI

-Alam mo kung ano ang late slip,absent slip at index cards

-Kilala mo si tita Vicky

-Kilala mo si Mr and Mrs Isidro

-Tumutungo ka sa God sa That In All Things God May Be Glorified

-Tumungo ka sa Jesus sa Praise be Jesus Christ Forever and Ever Amen.(wala na nito ngayon)

-Alam mo ang tono ng "Scholastican Our Father"–the best

-Marunong ka gumawa ng parol na puro recycled materials ang gamit. -Naglaro ka ng slide slidan sa mga stairs

-Pag may birthday after mo kantahan sasabihin mo Happy Birthday ___! Howold are you? Jump ____ times!

-Alam mo ibig sabihin ng Ora et Labora

-Game ka sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ka maarte.

-MAGANDA KA!

I’m home, surfing the net, at the same time doing laundry (multi-tasking baby) and then, I happen to see the CD that my brother gave to my mom for her birthday. It contains their birthday greetings and Mikoy’s activities. While watching the video, I realized that I’m missing a lot of things just because I chose to go to the US to pursue my career. I really miss my family especially my nephew. I miss playing with my mikmik and how I wish that I could just hug and kiss him right now and watch him grow. I won’t be able to witness:

…Mikoy’s first walk

…his remaining teeth

…his smile

…his first word

…his gigils

…his laugh

…his first birthday.

Yeah, I won’t be able to come home for his 1st birthday and it sucks. What sucks the most is that, by the time I go back to the Philippines, he may not even recognize me.  Bummer.

I dunno what’s happening to me

I’m so confused…

I can’t control my life like what it used to be

Things are really getting out of my hand

This is not me… I don’t want to live like this

Hope I find the answers to my questions

Useless

My outlook these past few days

Pressure from the people around me overwhelms my being.

Crushing me little by little

It feels like my heart is going to explode anytime

It pains me

It kills me

Yet, some are still too insensitive to even notice

Crying will do me no good

Lingering silence is the only way to rest my soul from this pandemonium.

I’ll try to be strong,

Depend on not a soul

Set aside all my uncertainties

And continue this pompous life of mine

—-matagal ko na to ginawa.. la lang.. gusto ko lang sha ilagay ngayon…—-

I talked to my friend a while ago and she told me na may kumakalat na balita sa dati kong tirahan sa Munti na may anak na daw ako. Ano daw??!! hahaha. Kamusta naman yun diba?! I just can’t get it off my freakin’ mind. I wasn’t really surprised at all coz that’s human nature. People talk behind your back, making up stories and all that shit for nothing. They don’t care if it’s really true. Wala lang. natatawa lang ako sa lahat ng chismosa sa mundo. I’m not mad. Mukha lang  silang tanga. Nananahimik ako tas ganun. hehe. bahala sila sa buhay nila. Mamaga sana mga COLPO nila! CABRONA! MERDE!

Gusto ko lang i-share.. Yung babaeng toy poodle namen ngayon in-heat so yung 2 lalaki naming aso naabnoy lalo na yung dalmatian ksi ndi nya maabot! Kalbo na nga si kikay eh. la lang… nakakatawa lang! hahaha. Mukha silang tanga.